Nightmares. As a young girl at the ages of 2-10, I had nightmares but they were no where near as scary as filling out a FASFA application.
I have had the damaging displeasure of filing with FASFA five times now. Every time, I encountered a new phrase or question that I have no understanding of, and no paperwork to help me. Tax questions alone should only come during tax time, not twice a year! Each time I have filled out FASFA, I feel like I'm taking an old wooden staircase that could crumble beneath your feet without any warning.
Fortunately, I have had much better luck this year. Over the past two years of being out of school, I have learned the importance of helplines, customer service, and links to guide you to the answers you seek. Ask questions. I have to admit, asking for help has never been my forte. In school, I would ask questions last minute or I would get so scared that I was asking for help that I could not formulate a question to make sense to a teacher or peer. This has been a huge accomplishment, for me, in the last couple years.
A very wise teacher that I had in high school once told me, never be afriad to ask questions because if you find the proper person to ask, you will always find the answer that is best fit. He was a genius. (Mr.P) Thankfully, I figured out how to use his wise words instead of just ponder what they meant all of these years.
This week's blog is short but it's truly all that has been going on around my reintroduction to school next semester.
On a side note, I am extrodinarly proud of Kate. September 5th was her last first day of school. I can't even beging to explain how proud I am to be her partner and to have been with her on her journey prior and during Nursing School. Lots of tears, fears, and cheers!
Have you ever had a particular person or situation inspire you so much that you couldn't get them or it out of your head? That's how it all started for me. His name is Mark.
Mark had an awful headache one night so he went to bed to lay down. That night he suffered a brain aneurysm. That same morning, doctors told Mark's wife, Wilma that he may not make it through the night, which confused her because it was already close to early morning hours.
Miraculously, Mark survived; however, his brain suffered terrible damage. An occupational therapy assistant worked with him every single day so he could relearn almost all small and large motor functions.
During the camping road trip I took this past July, we stayed at the cabin of Katie's parents friends. This is where I met Wilma and Mark the previous year. This year's visit with Mark hit me harder than the first. He loves Bosco (our dog). He kept looking at him and smiling. He asked how old he was and what his name was multiple times a day. On the last day, Mark remembered Bosco's name. A couple of times throughout the trip, Mark would follow me as I took a walk around the cabin with Bosco. He talked to me and laughed and we just talked and walked along the lake. There was something about him that was so blissful. So gentle. Later that same night, I got talking with Wilma. She told me Mark's story. I was changed.
Although I have only met Mark and Wilma twice. Each time I have been intensely inspired. Never having felt like that about someones situation before...it got me thinking...I believe I could do that. I am patient, willing to wait for results, and most of all...I actually feel passionate.
I am not naive. I know that every client won't be as kind as Mark and not every family member will be as patient as Wilma, but God planned for me to meet them. He planned for me to feel inspired enough to try school again.
Ready or not, here I come.
I'll have to change my routine; tighten free time; assume more short-term debt; and deal with my own fears and insecurities about my rusty academic abilities.
Frankly, I'm terrified.
I battled with the thought of going back to school from the very last day I attended college. Never once have I regretted dropping out in December of 2010. Then why go back, you ask? First, you must know why I dropped out in the first place.
Reason one: Money. With no parent to co-sign my parent plus loan, I had to pick up every FASFA (Federal Aid) loan which came with a hefty interest rate and no money left for books or a food plan.
Reason two (This is the biggest reason): I had no clue what I wanted to do "when I grew up". I battled with this for so many years. Growing up, many of my friends knew they wanted to be a nurse, teacher, biologist, philosopher, etc. I never had a gravitational pull secretly guiding me into a field for possible career choices.
Reason three: I didn't enjoy it. After completing almost 33 general education credits, I had had enough. And with no direction for a major (I changed majors 4 times), the dead end of my secondary education was gaining on me.
Thus, I dropped out; got a full time job, received a promotion, and gained full-time benefits included health, dental, and vision insurance and even paid vacation time up to two weeks! Not a single one of my 21 year old friends had that. Now, you may ask, why go back if your job is so great? Although I like my job, have great hours, and even work with some pretty great people. I'm lacking my full potential. Truthfully, I feel less smart in my grown-up job than I did as a 20year old in a freshman math course.
As for now, I am filling all the necessary paperwork for financial aid, studying 30mins a day for my placement test, and planning out a three year plan for work and school life.
Next week, I will post what I am planning on going back to school for, how I came to that decision, and what I am going to do to remain motivated to attain my new goal.
Thanks for reading. I mean it. This reader support system is one of the best things I have gained since my decision to go back to college.
